According to the Pattern by Hill Grace Livingston

Author:Hill, Grace Livingston [Hill, Grace Livingston]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2013-05-14T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter 13: In the Serpent’s Toils

Poor little heart!

Did they forget thee?

Then dinna care! Then dinna care! Proud little heart!

Did they forsake thee?

Be debonair! Be debonair!

—Emily Dickinson

WHEN Miriam gave the hasty order to the driver to go to her aunt’s house on the west side of the city she had it in mind merely to make time to think before there would be any possible chance of seeing her husband or children or even her servants again. It was a long drive to Cresson Avenue, and her mind might become clearer by the time she reached there and she be able to mark out some course for herself. At the moment she was conscious of but one thing, and that was that the worst had happened. Her fears, which she now knew to have been but fears and not certainties were confirmed at last, and in such a way that there was no more room left for hope. She knew that in all the weary work of her carefully planned campaign she had been upheld by one great, strong hopes and that was that her husband was true to her after all and that in some mysterious way the trouble would be all explained so that there would finally come a glad morning after her night of sorrow. Now hope was stricken, never to rise again, she felt sure: Could the enemy have been permitted then to look into Miriam Winthrop’s heart she would have exclaimed in joyful triumph that her victory was complete.

Miriam sank back in the carriage, having first drawn the curtains, hid her face in her hands and shuddered— shuddered until she felt she was going into a nervous chill. Then suddenly she remembered that there was a great affair on hand that evening—one of the first of the really great functions to which she and Claude had been invited since her venture into the world. It was to be an affair of hundreds, not of tens, and its greatness consisted in the home in which it was held and in the very select company who were invited. It meant much to the success of her schemes that she had been invited there. She had not dared to hope for an invitation, and had wondered ever since it came to whom she owed the honor.

This gathering, which a few hours before had meant so much to her, had suddenly become as nothing. But somehow the memory of it recalled her to the exact situation and enabled her to gain command of herself and look things in the face.

Gradually the whole thing became clear to her. She must hold down her feelings till she was sure what she ought to do and not act rashly. In the meantime, it would not do to let her enemy see her defeat. She must wear a brave front and not give up the battle even though she felt that all was lost. Better to die fighting than that. The party, at least, must be gone through with, till she could get time to think.

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